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Entah... I tak tau nak tulis tajuk apa untuk entry kali ni. Fikiran I berserabut, kusut, miserable, angry, bengang, moody semua ada. Entah...i pun tak tau nak describe my feeling. Semuanya bercampur...berselirat. Apa punca dia?

Possibility # 1

I rasa, I tak boleh cope dengan life kat Malaysia ni. 3 tahun kat perantauan, I rasa aman, balik Malaysia jer...macam macam masalah timbul, macam macam nak kena diselesaikan. And a lot of unsolved problems. I dah tak larat dah.

I really need someone to talk to, to help me to brainstorm, try to figure out how to solve the problem, but everybody busy. May be by discussing and brainstorming can give me an idea how to overcome the problem. But I just realized, I've nobody. I dont have parents anymore. Dulu apa apa hal, I akan balik kampung jumpa mereka. But now, mereka dah tak ada. How I wish I have siblings, to share this with me. I really feel helpless now. (Kak T, if u read this, am really miss right now)

Possibility #2

Kalau nak tau, ni la rupa Volcano yang tengah meletop!!!!!

Setiap perempuan ada cycle dia, so now ni, I umpama gunung berapi yang hampir meletup. 'magma' tengah mengelodak menanti masa memyimbahkan lahar merahnya. Tapi, kenapa laa laki aku tu tak faham faham jugak yang bini dia ni ada PMS or premenstrual syndrome. Dah 12 tahun kawin, tak kan tak faham faham lagi, abang ooiiii. Time 'magma' tengah mengelegak ni, jangan laa nak cari pasal dengan I. Jangan nak gurau sembarangan, jangan nak buat I marah. Bila I kata "Please do not disturb"...dont disturb laa. Oh God!! I really dont know how to educate him. Nak kata tak belajar, masa SPM Biology dapat A. Sabar??? No no no...time ni, memang tak boleh nak sabar cik abang oiii....pinggang rasa sakit, perut ni rasa macam nak terberanak...errr...tapi sebenarnya, aku tak tau cemana rasanya orang beranak sebab tak pernah beranak. But I can guess, macam tu la kot rasanya. Dada ni menggelodakkkk rasa macam nak outburst. Sakit dia, gabungan physical and emotion. Kalau meletup, memang parah...macam Gunung Karakatau meletup. Gedebummmmm!!!!!! Entah lah...orang lelaki memang tak akan faham rasa ni sebab dia orang tak pernah rasa. But the feeling is really really really irritating.

Ini lah kesannya, lepas kena Volcano. Ko nak rasa??? Cuba laaaa...

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Now, I feel like I need help, but I dont know where to go to get help. To whom should I go? Who is willing to listen to me? May be, I should go somewhere alone for vacation for few days. Keep myself away from everybody, from all the disturbances.... I feel like, I want to go to one place and screammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................